Ann Arbor Spring - ahhhhh.....

curse that date print coming on one of the petals on the left. The damn researcher in me refuses to take snaps without a time stamp...sorry for ruining the beauty....if you noticed :)

...AND I DIED LAUGHING - IV...Move over Keanu

Keanu who? Pah...he's nothing compared to our own Vijaykanth...don't believe me? Ok, let's do a comparison...first let's watch Keanu in this video...really boring stuff....this is something you an i do everyday...what's so damn special about that?...and yea, don't bother watching the entire video...it's an infinite recursive thing (I get people i don't like too much to watch the whole thing till they fall on their knees, beg for forgiveness or some such thing)....

Now let's watch Vijaykanth...

This is the Jt. silver medalist (of this) sponsored by Ray-ban



What? You're sightless...er...speechless, right? See...told ya...
Some more interesting news on Vijaykanth+TN :

1) Vijaykanth is a Member of the TN assenbly now.

His party is called MDMK thus upholding the solemn law that major TN parties have to have the letters 'M' and K' in quick succession in their name (DMK, AIADMK, MDMK, PMK...).
Anyway, i kind of like the guy's style in real life. Apparently, on the oath-taking day, he simply took his oath and without waiting to see the entire proceedings 'stormed' out of the assembly to go to his constituency 'to do some work'. That's cool! i would have probably done something like that. On reaching his constitency he imm. went to meet the district officials and asked them to pull up their socks. That's cool too. So he's already rubbed people the wrong way. and according to one MLA "No one starts work as soon as you take oath...that's not the done thing"!!!
(i forget the source of the news - will put the link here when i dig it up)

2. Talk of election tactics.

An interesting story of 60 constitencies in TN having people standing up for elections bearing the same name as the leading candidate! Apparently to confuse voters.
http://www.zeenews.com/znnew/articles.asp?aid=293289&sid=BFS

Overheard - 4

Ok..another gem from Crizzie Criz...in his own words...this is in Kerala...

"....and then there was this time when i went to the movie theatre cutting classes for the first time in my life to watch 'mask of zorro'...darkened theatre, the name of film company comes up..'Amblin entertainment...' and suddenly outta no where, comes this scream...''Ambilikkuttan, when the **** did you start making movies? you start a company Ambilikkuttan entertainments and did not even bother to tell us...'' and so on and so forth.Seriously, i forgot to be afraid anymore and rolled around laughing! "

Overheard - 3

Crizee Criz sends me a better one (compared to Overheard -2) from 'Mallu land where he (originally) comes from'. The conversation might look like this:

Mallu 1:Which is your favorite actor?

Mallu 2: Arnold Sivasankaran

Mallu 3: Cool. The guy from Kottayam?

* as usual, the last line is my interpolation

Overheard - 2

Location: Route 2 bus-stop in Ann Arbor

Desi 1 : Which movie did you see recently?
Desi 2 : Shashank redemption
Desi 1 : Cool. Manoj ne banaya?*


*lit:Manoj's made it? + the last line is my addition :)

Bappi and Rahman team up!

What ****. What's the hell's happenning, man?!

http://entertainment.oneindia.in/movies/bollywood/news/bappi-lahiri-260506.html

Last line of the article says, "Bappi is now open to more playback singing, provided he gets good numbers". Yea right...we'll give you good numbers...just don't compose them yourself...and please wear less than 23 chains on your neck...

Vile VP's quote on reservations/Mandal II

We all know V P Singh is going senile. Yet our former Prime Minister wants to make himself heard. Look at his insane comments - the underlined phrase (below) makes absolutely no sense. According to vile VP, Mandal effected 'a great power shift' but 'there's been no benefit so far'. uh?
Sorry Sir, can you repeat that 283 times more - maybe it'll start making sense then.





God! This makes it worse. Complete junk.

(story from http://expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=68272)

State of the Indian police

They needed to do something here:
(Rajkumar 'fans' destroying a police car in Bangalore on the actor's death)















But the spineless chaps didn't.

So what are they good at? Beating up hapless students. These were students protesting (non-violently) in Bombay against the remarkably evil reservation policy:

















(thanks for the pic, Satty)
Way to go guys! We know we can count on you.

The final word belongs to Satish Acharya and Ponnappa:

But there is hope. Please read:
http://my-bangalore.blogspot.com/2006/05/oh-well-what-hell_04.html
That's what we all need to do.

For more pics and the latest update visit http://yfemumbai.blogspot.com/

Goa officials study Cannes festival

I don't know why i laughed when i first read the headline. Maybe the word 'study' is incongruous with either Goa or Cannes (no offense, Keith :)
And I want to know what they 'studied'. Apparently the entire team went to Cannes to 'study'.
Mein bhi aau kya? Apun bhi 'ishtudy' karenga.

(click print screen below to enlarge)







http://www.indiantelevision.com/headlines/y2k6/may/may249.htm

...AND I DIED LAUGHING! - III

The judges have decided the Jt. Silver medalist!
(two more videos to be posted in the next few days)

Its' Chiranjeev again! The man whose sterling performance in this video evoked the full range of emotions, from Admiration to Animosity, from readers.

Jt. Silver medalist sponsored by Mahindra & Mahindra. This is indeed a watershed in the action genre (yes please - pun intended). Thirty thousand cheers to the director/script-writer whose brainchild this was!!!


Q & A
Judging by the past videos, there will be questions that are bound to come up from readers on this video as well. The judges have anticipated these and have answered these as follows:

1. If Chiranjeev finally got the tractor to jump over the tractor-chakravyuh (circular formation) why did he waste time splashing all the water around in the first place?

Response from the judges
When Chiranjeev saw so many tractors coming at him all of a sudden, understandably his mind just kept going around in circles. This internal confusion is represented by means of a sophisticated metaphor in the form of the tractor going around in circles. And you thought 'aise hi timepass ke liye dikhaya'*, eh?

2. A pattern is observed in this and the earlier video (a jeep in the latter case). Though the sample size here is low (two), we are confident that we have seen the same pattern across other bollywood/tollywood/mollywood/sleazywood movies.

We are referring to the vehicles' ability to leap when the drivers execute a jerky upward movement when in their seats. Like what you would do when you unwittingly sat on a seat in a dark cinema theatre on which some bozo had left a half-eaten wada-pav**.
(why the emphasis on half-eaten? Why would anyone buy a wada-pav and leave it as it is on the seat? Kya yaar!***).

So anyway, back to the question...basically how does this phenomenon work?

Response from the judges
Ok, we sense some innocence in this question. We don't think the reader understands how these vehicles work. They are equipped with an additional gear called the 'Hanuman gear' (thanks to Zubair for this term) which they activate when they need to get the damn vehicle to leap over.

No. You cannot get this fitted into your vehicle to beat Bombay/ Bangalore/Boston/Bosnia traffic. These are special, man! Try and understand. Only to used by sleazywood people.

Anyway, compare this to the exceedingly expensive implements James Bond uses. This is much more cost-effective. In fact, truth be told, there is a move to outsouce all James Bond kinda stuff to India. Soon you'll find James Bond saying 'Jai Channakesava' and that's it. No hi-tech stuff needed. Simple. Effective. Crowd loves it.

____________________
*'just as a filler'
** bombay-sandwich
*** lit. c'mon man!

Spring-Summer in Ann Arbor :Tulip Time

No. These are not artificial.
...and just to spoil the fun, what do you think would have been left of these if some pucca desis were left loose here...yes! pluck, pluck, pluck!
All said and done, when it comes to tulips, nothing to beat this

...AND I DIED LAUGHING! - II (Q and A)

Some pertinent points have been made by members of the discerning public about the new joint gold medalist:

1) If the horse slid down the truck, as it did, was Chiranjeev's leg underneath the horse? If so, it would have positively been subject to some dastardly disfigurement. However, the hero shows no trace of pain on his angry face. How come?

Response from the judges:
a. This is a movie, idiot

b. It is difficult, even when viewed in slow motion, to see whether Chiranjeev's leg was under or over the horse. However, all this is beside the point. What matters is that the horse slid down the truck

c. The member conveniently suggests, without any justification, that the emotion on Chiranjeev's face is that of anger. We claim it is extreme pain or a potent mix of 5 parts pain + 3 parts anger.

2) A certain Mr. Sandeep Bhasin asks "If the jeep can jump over the truck, why couldn't the horse"
Everyone expects horses to jump - but how many horses do we know that slide down trucks? This was a marvellous attempt by the director to showcase hitherto-hidden equine talents. Good question, however.

3) Was there a race going on between the guy in the jeep and Chiranjeev? They seem to be rushing towards some imaginary finishing line.

Response from the judges:
This is a mischievous attempt to divert attention away from the heroics displayed so prominently. What has this got to do with the award? We refuse to answer such frivolous questions.

3) So how did the horse slide under the truck? If it fell at one place, abundant assistance from Newton's first law suggests that the direction of the momentum vector would prevent it from sliding under the truck.

Response from the judges:
a. The member is asked to see point a of the answer to the first question.
b. How can you rule out divine providence? There is ample evidence, (see for example the joint gold medalist) to suggest that divine providence is always in play.
So what's the fuss?

4) Does this scene have anything to do with 'True Lies' - where Arnold Schwarzenegger is all over the hotel on the horse.

Response from the judges:
a. Finally, a worthy question
b. In fact, it was after seeing this only (sic) memorable scene that James Cameron sir decided to do the ghoda scene in True Lies. The only thing no sir, is that the ghodas in USA are not used to doing stunts no, so the ghoda in True Lies refuses to leap over. But look at our braveheart! (no pun intended)

...AND I DIED LAUGHING! - II

The judges for this have issued an unconditional apology. They messed it up. The first prize was actually a joint first prize. - shown below.

After this fiasco, an external committee is REVIEWING ALL DECISIONS - SO WATCH OUT FOR MORE VIDEOS IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS!

Jt. GOLD MEDAL (sponsored by JBGA - Juhu beach Ghoda-gadi* Association)



*Ghoda-gadi : horse-cart in Hindi

...AND I DIED LAUGHING!

Seriously...any time you're low just watch these videos...guaranteed to make you laugh...it was the worth the hour i spent searching on 'You tube'

Gold Medal sponsored by Indian Railways goes to:
(with a special commendation from Ministry of Energy and Natural Resources)


Silver Medal sponsored by Deccan Airways:


Bronze Medal sponsored by Tom Cruise and the MI2 crew:
(Special commendation by PETA)


Consolation prizes:

More tummy journalism

Is this a conspiracy to irritate me? Barely a week and Mid-day carries another story of a tummy upset! In case you missed the earlier example of glorious journalism here it is.
and the stupid media newsletter i subscribe to again classifies it as a 'Newsbreaker'. Useless idiots. Banish all these people to Frumthapet (don't bother Googling that - i cooked the name up and it doesn't exist - i checked)

This story too gives all the gory details - see the underlined phrases in the print-screen below:
1) Where she puked (yikes!)
2) How she feels terrible eating Khichdi (a plain rice dish)

And very creative sub-headings like 'Chaat Chatka' lit. 'Tangy-Snack Thrashing' (sorry couldn't do a better job translating that one - contributions welcome) .
For additional fun read the caption of the snap - translates as 'Till when shall i continue having Khichdi? Man.

TN election special

Man, what a loser!
- It seems he lost to Ko Si Mani, whoever she/he/that is (almost a statistical name - sounded like Cauchy Mani* )
- Man, it takes guts taking a vow like that after losing twice earlier. Now he's gotta wait for 5 years.
- The opening line of the article is great - 'a double blow' it seems.











*See http://www.itl.nist.gov/div898/handbook/eda/section3/eda3663.htm for a review of the Cauchy distribution

The auditory equivalent of the solitary tulip

This is at Andheri station, Bombay....you should hear him play... and oh, he's visually challenged
same sentiment as the earlier post...how does it matter for the soul whether it is Ann Arbor or Andheri...
(sorry for the bad pic. quality...this was taken from my mobile last year)

A single tulip can be my garden

Wish i could be like this. Calm, Composed, Simple and Elegant in the midst of all the mess.

Ann Arbor Spring (contd.)

Some of the flora are yet to catch up...of course, these snaps are about a fortnight old, so will check the latest status out tomorrow...the trees outside my apartment have more or less caught up with the spring mood...

Glorious Journalism

Can't get better than this. Bombay's very own 'Mid-Day' covering a matter of great interest to the city and nation.

Some Shweta person (some actress, i guess) had a bad tummy upset and couldn't continue shooting for some film/serial/whatever. Ok fine. But 300 words spent on covering it! And gets into real nitty-grities...sample (no pun intended) the stuff i've put in the red block above with the sub-heading as 'Khane mein gadbad' lit. 'Something's wrong with the food'. Even writing about it makes me feel miserable. Why does anyone have to know that she had 'Corn methi malai sabzi' (and over the weekend, may i add).

Then we are fed (again, no pun intended) the gory details - that she puked the next day, unbearable stomach-ache...it just keeps going on an' on, man.

In the last part of the article, Ms. Shweta bravely proclaims to the world at large that 'Stomach problems have become a part of her life' - under the creative sub-heading 'Weak Tummy'. Interesting. What else is part of your interesting life?

Also to note is that 'My mother lives in Thane and has been getting very paranoid about my health'. hmmm. If she had lived in Lokhandwala, she wouldn't have been worried about Ms. Shweta's health.

Sick inane article. The best part is that I chanced upon this when going through the 'Today's newsbreakers' section of a daily media newsletter i subscribe to. This is a newsbreaker? You must be off your friggin' head.

Average of 2 numbers

What's the average of 10 and 350? 180? Wrong.

Hint/s:

a) You don't need to be a stat/math person to figure this out

b) see 'Avoiding Statistical Pitfalls' - Christopher Chatfield. Statistical Science, Vol 6, No.2 (Aug., 1991), pg. 242

c) Send me an e-mail or drop a comment here

Ann Arbor Spring: An apple a day...

Haven't stepped out since the last few days ...been catching up on sleep+reading...so today's installment of spring snaps are a few days old.

(click on images for larger size)

These snaps are those of pyrus coronaria now referred to as malus coronaria - the blossom of the apple tree. By a nice coincidence, these snaps were taken on 27th April almost exactly 109 years after the flower was declared the state flower of Michigan (28th April 1897). The legislation does not refer to pyrus coronaria specifically but refers to the apple tree blossom in general.
Also just learnt that Michigan ranks 3rd in the US in apple production after Washington and New York.

Now, why is the title of the post thus? Because, apparently the saying is not nutritionally true! So next time someone offers you an apple and starts with 'An Ap..' stop her/him immediately and tell the person that apples are rich in flavor, sugar and starch but poorer in vitamins than other common foods.

http://www.newton.dep.anl.gov/natbltn/200-299/nb277.htm. However, be warned that this link has info that dates to 1968.

As for the 'latest' resarch - apparently they discovered in 2003 that apples (especially in their skins - so don't peel the skin while having apples) contain 16 different biologic polyphenols - and also components that fight cancer and cardiovascular disease.

http://www.drgreene.com/21_1703.html

But then, there is also data on hand that tells us that apples are one of the most pesticide-contaminated fruits (ranks third with peaches and strawberries before it).

http://www.foodnews.org/reportcard.php

So as usual the scientists have confused us...now we don't know net net whether its good to have apples or should we have something else...as for me, if i feel like having an apple, i'll just have it! Why think so much?

And lastly, who coined "An Apple a day..."? Benjamin Franklin.

Stat PJ

Why do bad jokes strike me in the dead of the night?
Well, here goes:

Q: Why do you call a statistician who can't fit a non-parametric model?
A: A splineless fellow

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spline_(mathematics)
This link above is the math 'intro' to splines.
The word spline is of East Anglican origin.
Dictionary meaning: spline n. A flexible piece of wood, hard rubber, or metal used in drawing curves.

Today's blooper

http://agencyfaqs.com/news/stories/2006/05/01/14885.html
(click to see larger image)




Need i say more?
(Hope this gets changed)

Overheard 1 : Value of meetings

Opening line of a telephonic conversation with a client: "Are you in a meeting or are you busy?"
(Thanks to Mangesh Kulkarni for this)

Ann Arbor Spring: Michigan Mallige

Following up on this.
Sorry for the corny post title. The original term is Mysore Mallige. Mysore is a city in India that's known for 'Mallige' (that's Jasmine in the Kannada language). Apparently (some say even now) the city used to be permeated with the fragrance of jasmine. The Michigan variety is pretty heady too. Almost got unconscious standing near this tree waiting for the bus. (click for larger images)

Ann Arbor Spring : Can you get the fragrance?

Princeton

No..not Princeton as in Princeton, NJ, USA. This is about Princeton Academy Mumbai II . Yes, 'Princeton Academy Mumbai II' as opposed to 'Princeton Academy Mumbai I'.
The said academy honoured me be sending me an unsolicited (read - 'spam') mail. Was pure entertainment. Starts off on a very philosphical note: "Time. There's never enough of it". True.

Then go on to check the last line in the print-screen above: 'Have you ever worked your tail off?". No. I have sometimes worked my ass off. But never my tail. Am sure you monkeys at Princeton Academy start with the tail.

Second gem: the last line below:

After attending this workshop, your manager "Will keep the Main Thing the Main Thing". Yes!Yes! Yes! I always wanted to keep the 'Main Thing' the 'Main Thing'. Er, now what is this 'Main thing'?

Third set of gems:

1) They cover the 'Paretoes's principle'. As opposed to Parefingers' principle. Also, can someone sponsor these guys for an English course? [The actual principle is the Pareto's principle - the familiar 80:20 rule (eg. 80% of the consequences stem from 20% of the actions) named after economist Vilfredo Pareto]

2) We'll also learn how to 'use less time putting out fires each day'. Do they also teach us how to create fires? Or is this part of the training exclusive to the fire dept. guys?

3) Also in the agenda is 'Discarding the majority of paper that crosses your desk'. God! Are these guys insane? Or is it just their bad English that's keeping me in splits?

4) Lastly, their claim to fame: "a time management workshop that's actually worth everyone's time!". Well, if it can keep me as entertained as reading this junk, am willing to pay the Rs. 4,300/- they've asked for.

Yea, you heard right- 4300 quid. I don't know why we slog it out rather than do stuff like this. There are enough geezers willing to sign up for such courses. Can you imagine 4300 greenbacks (or Gandhibacks) from even 100 individuals. Wait lemme check...that'ssssss 430,000 bucks. And am sure we can do MUCH better than Princeton Academy Mumbai II.

Ann Arbor: More Early Spring

Some more pics on popular demand after this
I'll try posting a few pics a day till i run out! Have four snaps today: (click to enlarge):
check the dudes on the right - leather look and all










Look at the glistening leaves! So fresh! Saying all this reminds me of an old Zen tale. I forget who the monks in question were but the story runs that a Zen monk and his master went out for their customary daily walk. The student had just had a mystical experience and as it happens with these experiences, your senses just open up completely - in a sublime way. So the student kept exulting at every thing he saw on the way. And he just couldn't understand why the master wasn't appreciating the beauty:"Sir, don't you think these flowers are a sheer delight".

The reply: "Yes. But what a pity to say so". Isn't that an amazing insight! Participate, Experience, IMMERSE.
Well, i'm like that student in the story right now - so bear with me!

Quote of the day

This was two days back from Sharath Reddy, my flat-mate : "If you want, i'll have tea" Once again in case you missed it: "If *you* want, *i'll* have tea. Translation: "I'm feeling really lazy to go and boil some water, so please....and can you also put a tea bag in the cup, pour the boiling water on it, add some milk, then some sugar (only a spoon please). And if you can get this to where i'm sitting right now, that'll be fine". Slight improvement yesterday:"I don't mind having tea if you are having it as well".

Disruptive designations

How do you get business with a designation like that?
“Hi, I’m Sharan Sharma, Head of Disruption’
“Oh no, I’ve done enough of that. I came to you to see how you can help me grow my business”

Guess this is the ad. agency implementing the thoughts in ‘Disruption: Overturning Conventions and Shaking Up the Marketplace’ by Jean-Marie Dru. Whatever. Can’t digest ‘Disrpution’ as a designation.

Lastly, congratulations to the news agency for classifying it as ‘Breaking News’. What? You mean there weren’t trying to be punny?

Facing Life

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.' - Friedrich Nietzsche

What do you call a statistics blog?

A slog!
(got this from Shravan Vasishth's statistics blog)

Juhu-Bombay

This is in response to Sandeep's message on the previous post. This is our very own Juhu beach in Bombay! Sorry for the bad quality but this was taken from a mobile phone (sometime last year).


Sandeep and I used to go on long walks on Juhu every other fortnight (after profuse apologizing to his wife, Anu - we used to not take her along!) discussing a lot of things...as with any other normal human being, we never tired of watching the waves, the sky and especially the sunset.

And the sky used to broadcast special messages to its patrons - at least those who cared to watch and not hog 'bhel puri' - on this day, check the nice heart sign its made! Wonder if it was some 'healthy heart day' or that blessed Valentines day - if it was, then am sure this was just God getting sucked into the marketing cesspool.

Some more Juhu snaps follow. I like the first one of the following the best. Not for anything else, but can you see how even the bhel-puri crowd is just awestruck. Practically everyone seems to be just watching the show! There's hope for culture!

And the creme de la creme...

What is this? Its a loootttttt of people waiting patiently in a queue to go to the loo - the sole loo at Juhu beach at this entrance, not counting the unofficial ones (namely, the entire stretch of the beach) . I have never ventured inside this loo but confirmed sources tell me there are a full 5 filthy urinals inside - that's a lot given that are just about 700 people on the beach on a Sunday evening. yeah! Kudos to the govt.

But to the end this post, what i find heartening is that these folks are actually standing in the line - and might i add, in quite an orderly fashion. Sometimes i think its because of these folks that India is running.

Ann Arbor: Early Spring!

Sunshine, Budding leaves , Flowers starting to bloom, Life sprouting from every corner... What more can i say?
(Click images for a larger size. I know some of these look picture post-cardish...but what matters is that they look beautiful)